how do flat chested girls get laid?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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