Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
