she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
