did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize