just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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