Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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