dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
