who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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