worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up under a house in Key West
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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