So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
