addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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