I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize