My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
