remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
