No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
