take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize