I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
