on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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