mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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