weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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