Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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