Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
