Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
