Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
