Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
