3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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