literally had 100 drinks last night.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize