I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
