she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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