we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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