New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
