my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
