so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
