Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
