i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
