I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
