oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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