you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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