At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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