Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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