dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
