He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
