are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
His nipple licking is glorious
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