So drunk its hurt
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
