do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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