Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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