dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
