Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
