Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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