I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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