fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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