i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
