Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize