nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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