a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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