I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
