We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize