After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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