She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
