I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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