also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
