She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
