I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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