we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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