It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
