Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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