his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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