how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
